14-year-old me would be astonished to know that Insanely Sane is finally being shown to the world at large. 32-year-old me presently is swinging between elated and terrified. My current therapist had me drill down what it was that I was scared of, and I think it goes beyond the typical fear of bad reviews.
That’s not to say I don’t expect at least a few bad reviews at some point. No book is for everybody, and that’s totally okay. But I think I fear reviews that tear apart the validity of trauma. Whether or not someone likes my book is going to be obviously subjective. But trauma is a very real thing that so many people have to deal with in entirely different ways.
When I was querying still, one prospective publisher said there were too many POVs. I know 10 (or 11, depending) is a lot for a book, but it’s for a reason. When in the hospital, that’s what’s happening. You’re not just tearing apart your own survival mechanisms, but also witnessing others do the work too. You get glimpses into their brains too. It creates a strange but strong bond.
It’s been a long journey getting Insanely Sane to this point. It’s not over, either. Tuesday (May 24) is the digital release, and it’s going to be in Kindle Unlimited for at least a little while too. The hardcover and paperback version comes out September 13 which requires some legwork, and I still have to figure out how to get an audiobook done too. My anxiety is spiking because of the prolonged release period. But, for once, it’s the good kind. Self-awareness can be kind of awesome.
I am so grateful to Diane at Motina Books and to everyone who helped or supported me on this path. I’m still a little scared, but I am definitely ready to share this book with the world.